Jamie Lee Curtis says the “hardest thing” about adapting her daughter Ruby as transgender hasn’t been using her new name – and not the one she had called her all her life. life.
The 62-year-old actress revealed this summer that her daughter, formerly Thomas, told her and her husband, Christopher Guest, that she was a trans woman and was now called Ruby.
Speaking to People, she now says there were “tears involved” when Ruby stepped out, but she is “a grateful student” when it comes to supporting her daughter.
Curtis admitted that she “slips” with Ruby’s pronouns every now and then, although Ruby has said she is never “crazy” when this happens because she knows her mother is doing her best.
“It’s speaking a new language,” she said. “It’s learning new terminology and new words. I am new to this. I am not someone who claims to know a lot. And I’m gonna blow it up, I’m gonna make mistakes. I would like to try to avoid making big mistakes.
Jamie Lee Curtis Says “Hardest Thing” About Adapting To Daughter Ruby As Transgender Wasn’t Using Her New Name, Not The One She’s Called Her All Her Life
Ruby, a video editor for a gaming personality on YouTube, said she knew she was different when she was around 16, but due to a negative therapy experience she didn’t go out “when. I probably should have ”.
It wasn’t until a few years ago, when she was still going through Tom and dating her now fiancé, that she first admitted that she might be trans.
Her fiance said, “I love you for who you are. “
So last summer, she had the nerve to tell her parents, admitting it was “scary” and “intimidating”, even though she wasn’t afraid they wouldn’t accept it. She had used the word ‘bi’ to describe herself before, and they had always supported her.
When breaking the news, Curtis said there were “tears involved.” But while she had never had the idea before that Ruby was trans, looking back she could see some signs – like how Ruby would use a female avatar during the game.
The most difficult adjustment, she said, was not using Ruby’s “dead name”. But she admitted that it “doesn’t suit her at all”.
Family: Ruby (left) – who was previously known as Thomas – is a computer games editor, and Curtis and Guest also have a 34-year-old daughter, Annie, (second from left) who is a dance teacher. The family is seen here at the Halloween Kills premiere in 2018
Ruby (left) attended the Wreck-It Ralph premiere with Curtis in 2012
“It was, of course, the hardest thing. Just the regularity of the word, she said.
– The name you gave to a child. That you said all their life. And so, of course, at first that was the challenge. Then the pronoun. My husband and I still slip from time to time.
“You slow down your speech a bit. You become a little more attentive to what you are saying. How do you say it. You’re still wrong, I messed up twice today. We are human, she said.
Ruby doesn’t get upset when her parents get it wrong, acknowledging that her mother “did the most she could, and that’s all I want.”
Curtis also insisted that she was not “proselytizing” by sharing her family history or “trying to force feed something to people.”
“I’m just saying, ‘This is our family’s experience. I am here to support Ruby. It’s my job, ”she said.
Curtis said she knew she was going to ‘blow up’ and ‘make mistakes’ adjusting to this ‘new language’, although Ruby said she was never ‘crazy’ when her mother was slipping (Curtis pictured carrying Ruby as a baby in 1996)
Ruby admitted she was “scared” to go out and Curtis said there were “tears involved” (pictured at the “One Piece Film: Gold” premiere on January 5, 2017)
Curtis, who also shares a 34-year-old daughter named Annie with her husband, first spoke about Ruby’s exit in an interview with AARP magazine in July.
Curtis said that she and her husband “looked with wonder and pride at our son” – who was previously known as Thomas – ‘became our daughter Ruby.’
In the interview, which was conducted with permission from Ruby, Curtis explained that she rejected the “old idea” that gender is fixed and instead looks at the idea that life is a “constant metamorphosis. “.
The actress has already shown her support for trans people for several years and in 2017 shared a Huffington Post article on Twitter: “Dear trans children. The letter we all wish we had written. (from a trans teacher). ‘
Last year, she also signed on to direct and star in a TV movie about GLAAD Media Institute alumnus Sara Cunningham. Cunningham is the founder of Free Mom Hugs, which celebrates the LGBTQIA + community. She also spoke enthusiastically about Ruby’s upcoming nuptials.
Curtis’ children are private – and have only attended a handful of events with their mother – but Ruby has given her mother permission to share two personal pieces of information with AARP, the other being her impending nuptials.
Curtis also insisted she was not ‘proselytizing’ by sharing her family history or ‘trying to force feed something to people’ (pictured in 2016)
“She and her fiance will be getting married next year at a wedding I’ll be officiating,” the Halloween star said.
Curtis did not say whether Ruby was marrying a man or a woman, although in 2019 Ruby shared a photo with a girlfriend.
Gender and sexuality are two different and unrelated things, and Curtis has previously said the latter is a private matter.
“I don’t think it’s anyone’s business what people’s sexuality is, to be perfectly honest,” she told Pride Source in 2019, responding to a question on her own. sexuality and its advocacy for the LGBTQ + community.
Although she thinks that sex is “nobody’s business, it doesn’t matter”, she makes an exception if “you legislate anti-gay legislation but are gay”. I fully agree to denounce these people for their hypocrisy.
Curtis, who is the daughter of movie stars Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh, said she grew up comfortable around gay people thanks to her Hollywood parents.
Curtis also revealed that Ruby (left) will marry her fiance next year. Curtis has not shared any details about Ruby’s future wife, although Ruby did share a photo with a girlfriend in 2019 (right)
‘[My mother’s] makeup artist was gay, the playwright she played with was a great friend of our family who was gay, ”she explained.
But, she added, “You don’t need to have your own experience to feel compassion and the need for justice and equality.
“In the LGBTQ world, I certainly have friends and family, but I don’t have to have direct experience to feel the compassion I truly feel for acceptance and equality in all. areas. “
Curtis and Guest struggled with infertility and adopted their oldest child, Annie, through an agency in 1986. Nine years later, they adopted Ruby.
In 1996 Curtis wrote a book, Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born, to emphasize the importance of sharing birth stories with adopted children.
She also told AARP that she hopes to be a grandmother one day. When asked if she already had grandchildren, she replied: “Not yet, but I hope to do so. ”