- Tan France’s son was born seven weeks earlier in mid-July and just returned home this week.
- France and her husband, Rob, have chosen to feed their son Ismail formula milk.
- France hopes that sharing her story will help parents who feel judged for their food choices.
- Visit the Insider home page for more stories.
Although Tan France is a gay man having a baby thanks to a surrogate mother, most people have assumed that France and her husband, Rob, would feed their baby with breast milk, he said on Instagram on Wednesday.
“Ever since we announced that we were having a baby, people have been asking, ‘Where will you get your donor milk from? “‘Is the surrogate going to give milk?’ France said in an Instagram video made as part of a partnership with infant formula company Bobbie. “It’s such a strange thing that no one at any point has talked about a formula. “
France posted the video during Breastfeeding Month, which he acknowledged in the video caption.
“It’s National Breastfeeding Awareness Month, where one type of feeding is put on a social pedestal and those who can’t or have chosen not to feel second to formula feeding »France wrote.
France announced earlier this week that he and Rob have become parents. Their son, Ismail, was born to a surrogate mother on July 10, but had spent time in the neonatal intensive care unit because he was seven weeks premature. La Frances just brought Ismail home this week.
In the video, filmed before Ismail came home, France explained how obvious the decision to formula is.
“My mother had five children,” he said. “She had two jobs. She couldn’t breastfeed me. My husband is a formula baby. My surrogate is not able to express the milk, so we are planning to feed our baby formula because that is what makes sense for our lives. “
The video drew a lot of comments, including from friends and family who France didn’t realize were ashamed of the formula feed.
“I got so many messages from friends I didn’t know who had difficulty breastfeeding, or who were balancing breastfeeding and formula,” he said in a follow-up conversation on Instagram. live.
In this discussion, France stressed that he does not shame anyone who is breastfeeding; he points out that infant formula is also an acceptable way to feed a newborn baby.
“To all the women watching this, I’m not saying breastfeeding is bad,” he said. “We don’t judge you for breastfeeding. It is wonderful that you have the luxury and privilege of being able to feed your baby with your breasts. I can not. I can’t physically. And so I need formula milk. We’re not saying it’s better. We’re just saying it’s a great option. It is an option for people who cannot or cannot breastfeed.
France said the way to bridge the gap between formula and breastfeeding is to share stories.
“There should be no guilt on either side and no shame on either side, as long as there are questions and respectful conversations that come from one place and the intention of wanting to understand.” “, did he declare. “The people who share their stories are the thing that will help bridge that gap and make them feel less ashamed. ”