He pleaded for a “second chance” in an Instagram post deleted earlier this month.
And now, in his first interview since being charged with sexual misconduct in 2019, Ryan Adams has described himself as “lost” both personally and professionally.
The 46-year-old singer told LA Magazine that after being “canceled” over allegations published in the NY Times two years ago, “I felt like they were asking me to die.”
Singer Ryan Adams told LA Magazine he felt ‘lost’ personally and professionally after being ‘canceled’ over sexual misconduct allegations published in the NY Times in 2019 (pictured in 2015)
In the article published Monday, Adams says he was quickly abandoned by friends and fellow musicians, his scheduled tours were canceled and the planned release of a new album stalled.
“So I lose my life’s job and my dream of who I am, my ability to support myself. And now I don’t have the emotional support to help with this problem. The door slammed and what am I going to do? he said.
He detailed his mental health issues, explaining, “I couldn’t sleep. Anxiety made me so sick. I couldn’t fix it.
“I was functional in that I looked after my house well and my cats were doing well. But I was not well.
“I’m losing my life’s job and my dream of who I am, my ability to support myself. And now I don’t have the emotional support to help with this problem. The door slammed and what am I going to do? he said
Adams told LA Magazine he was at risk of losing his home, his studio, and even considering accepting a “take it or leave it” offer to purchase the rights to publish his music.
In February 2019, seven women, including recording artist Phoebe Bridgers and his ex-wife Mandy Moore, accused him of sexual misconduct.
The women claimed that Adams would pursue the women in an attempt to help their music careers, before becoming abusive.
He was also the subject of an FBI investigation for a sexually explicit online relationship with a minor, although he was cleared of the charges in January.
He issued a public apology for his behavior in July 2020.
Seven women, including recording artist Phoebe Bridgers and his ex-wife Mandy Moore (pictured with him in 2010), claimed Adams would pursue women in an attempt to help their music careers, before becoming abusive
His inner turmoil was laid bare in an Instagram post a week ago, which he later deleted.
He wrote: “I know I’m damaged goods… .. I just want a second chance to make music – maybe help other people believe you can get out of the gutter and be something. “
He continued, “I’m 46 and scared to live in my sister’s basement. If you are a label and interested, please let me know. ‘
The singer said in another deleted post, “Please if anyone takes a chance on me and this music, I’ll break a ** to back it up.” Sorry for sounding desperate.
Adams was eventually dropped from his Blue Note / Capitol label before setting up his own label PAX AM, where he released two albums in the past eight months, Wednesdays in December and Big Colors in June.
Although both of these albums made it to the charts in countries like Belgium, Germany, and the Netherlands, they weren’t ranked in the US or UK.
A week ago Adams posted on Instagram: “I know I’m damaged goods… I just want a second chance to make music – maybe help other people believe you can get out of the gutter. and be something ‘(photographed in 2012)