Kathy Griffin has revealed she struggled with pill addiction and suicidal thoughts after receiving backlash for a controversial photoshoot in 2017.
The comedian, 60, who revealed she was battling stage 1 lung cancer on Monday, sat down for an interview with ABC News in which she detailed the past four years and the spiral her life has taken after facing immense backlash after posing with a bloody, severed head in the effigy of then-President Donald Trump.
After an apology and a subsequent rescinding of that apology, Griffin embarked on the cheeky ‘Laugh Your Head Off’ tour in 2017. She noted that it was around this time that she discovered the pills, which took her backstage. battle that would ultimately result in a suicide attempt.
“I was like, ‘Well, I don’t even drink… It’s serious, I take a few pills every now and then, who doesn’t drink them?’ She told ABC News. “Plus my age was a big part of it. I mean, who’s hitting rock bottom and trying to kill themselves at 59? It’s almost a joke, isn’t it, and by the way, one day it will all be comedy. Believe me… I was laughing to stay alive. And what I found was that I felt like if I couldn’t make other people laugh, then I had no purpose in living. I had no reason to live. “
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A doctor first prescribed him Provigil, an amphetamine similar to Adderall. This was quickly followed by a prescription for Ambien to help him sleep, followed by pain relievers to help him manage various injuries. The star says her pill addiction “got out of hand very quickly.”
His addiction quickly led to thoughts of suicide. She says her life has been spent taking the stage and showing people how resilient she is. However, amid the overwhelming backlash from Trump’s photo, she revealed that she was starting to feel her critics were right and that there was no next chapter in her career or life.
“I just felt there was an impending disaster,” she said. “I was already starting to think… it was time for me to go. And a lot of people have certainly told me that it is time for me to go. “
Amid the fallout, Griffin said she not only received death threats, but her loved ones were also harassed.
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“I mean, legitimate death threats with everything online is the Google photos of the house, the address.” I mean, people have shown up to my husband’s parents, ”she told the outlet. “They found my sister when she was dying of cancer in the hospital and called her… I picked up the call and heard it myself because I was visiting her. “
The actress said that as her addiction grew, suicidal thoughts became an obsession. She even went so far as to put a living revocable trust in order and wrote a complete suicide note. After attempting to kill himself, Griffin took his recovery seriously. She went to a psychiatric hospital and was released shortly thereafter to work with two clinicians who helped her clean up.
“Here is the silver lining,” she said of her regained and hard-fought sobriety. “I am so delighted and grateful. I feel like at 60, I’m going to have a next chapter. This is the thing everyone said was not going to happen. I thought [it] was not going to happen. “
However, the star’s future is threatened by a cancer diagnosis she revealed on Monday.
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” I have something to tell you. I have cancer. I’m about to have surgery to have half of my left lung removed, ”said the 60-year-old. wrote on Twitter. “Yes, I have lung cancer even though I have never smoked! “
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Griffin has yet to tell his fans how the operation is going. However, she noted in her initial announcement that the cancer is contained in her lung and that doctors were optimistic about her chances.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).