We always expect the dawn of free agency in the NBA to be on the freak side, and yet we’re still surprised at how bonkers it gets. With the offseason tight again as the league desperately recovers an 82-game season against players who will barely be able to hold on in the end, teams are likely even more desperate to lock things down early. So we had the usual binge eating on Monday. We’re going to spin it, the prism I have which is that of a watery-eyed observer who isn’t really attached to all of this.
If you’re over 30 and played for the Lakers before, or just spent over six months in Los Angeles, the Lakers might call you. After bringing Russell Westbrook home last week, the Lakers signed former players Trevor Ariza, Dwight Howard, Wayne Ellington and Kent Bazemore (combined age: Quaker Oats spokesperson). While I still look forward to the possible field fist fight Westbrook and LeBron could engage in somewhere around February, I’ll also be curious about the legion of contenders the Lakers now have who can say on camera: ” I’m getting too old for this shit. LeBron is still the favorite there, but Howard is a solid second choice.
For the first time in years, the Chicago Bulls might actually be relevant. They acquired Lonzo Ball as part of a signing and trade, which will either remove some handling of the ball from Zach Lavine’s plate or give him another wing to offer more options. Bulls are also rumored to be hot after Demar DeRozan, which Bulls fans will pretend to be really excited about, will go to a game, then realize they don’t recognize anyone other than the statues of Jordan and Pippen on the outside and start complaining again that the Bulls will never be able to land as free agents thanks to Jerry Krause. It’s a tradition here.
The Bulls also signed stable goalie Alex Caruso, the best and most athletic player who also looks like a substitute chemistry teacher in NBA history.
If LA doesn’t become a retirement home, then of course it has to be Miami, where the Heat brought in Kyle Lowry. It’s a Canadian tradition to move to South Florida when you get older there, although it’s usually Quebecers who head there to look confused while walking around Hollywood. Lowry will be further south.
Pat Riley, who is 76 and feels the cold hand of death about to knock on his office door (he shouldn’t, no one with that hair ever dies before 112), won’t have much patience. for something other than going for that. There’s even talk of giving Jimmy Butler an extra time which will make Marky Mark very happy but unlikely to make Heat fans happy after four straight playoff outings where Butler makes it clear that it’s everyone’s fault. except his own and starts showing up for training at 11pm two nights before to prove to gullible sports journalists how much he wants it.
Chris Paul has turned down his option for some sort of pay cut this year for security to secure a four-year deal with the Suns for a total of $ 120 million. The greater flexibility should allow the Suns to strengthen the roster around Paul, but there is nothing in the witch potion contract they had that saw every Western Conference playoff opponent lose their way. most important player with injury just in time to play for the Suns. Maybe State Farm is paying for it.
Trae Young is now woefully wealthy thanks to the fact that he became the last Madison Square Garden legend who never played for the Knicks. That’s all there is now.
I wouldn’t claim to know much about athletics, but even I know it matters when a record is set at close to a second. Norway’s Karsten Warholm won the 400m hurdles and also became the first person to do so in under 46 seconds, breaking his own record of 0.76 seconds. To put that in some perspective, the 400m hurdles is the same event that Edwin Moses dominated for a decade, but never ran under 47. This tweet gives a pretty clear indication of Warholm’s dominance:
Sometimes seeing the time is difficult to translate or imagine. Seeing the open lengths makes Warholm’s accomplishment pretty keen.