Case that didn’t go well, didn’t end well – –

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Case that didn’t go well, didn’t end well – –


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Dear Amy: I don’t claim to be a saint, but was I wrong to end my “on again / off” engagement with a married man the way I did?

After suspecting that he was not being very truthful with me, I dug up information about him online, which was basically glaring evidence right there for online detectives like me to find out.

We had always been friends and most of the time he took care of me in a way that I didn’t require. I knew it was an affair, not a partnership, and I was okay with it.

After finally finding out about his lies, I sent him screenshots of what I discovered. He immediately started texting me angry and calling me, but I didn’t respond until hours later as there was nothing he could do to refute what I had long suspected.

I basically told him in a text that he was lucky I didn’t let his family, friends, and coworkers know how much of a double-sided liar he really is.

I blocked him right after that, so I don’t know if he tried to contact me again, and I don’t care.

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I didn’t really appreciate how, in the weeks leading up to our separation, he demanded to know who I was with and what I was doing.

I started to feel like a toy.

I wanted to end this for good, but never found the emotional strength to do so.

After a few therapy sessions I felt empowered so I ended things and didn’t look back.

So, was I wrong to end things the way I did?

– Finally free

Dear free: My reaction to your story is basically this:

Cheaters will cheat, liars will lie, and vengeful girlfriends will take revenge.

When you finally decided to leave this relationship, you armed yourself with virtual grenades, followed by veiled threats and intimidation.

I guess your man probably deserved this treatment (he chose you, after all), but if you felt really good about the way you handled things in the end, you wouldn’t feel like you had to ask.

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Dear Amy: I have a friend who I hang out with often. He is 65 and stubborn.

This friend uses the term “confused sex” when referring to people he perceives as not representing their assigned gender.

I used to find it boring, but I tried to let it fall off my shoulders, attributing it to his own ignorance of the genre spectrum.

Now I feel upset and angry when he uses that term because he now refers to my own child (in gender transition) when he uses this insult.

I told her (more than once) that I found “confused sex” to be an insult to people who understand that they are more comfortable expressing themselves as a gender other than their own. sex assigned at birth, and he replied (loud and angry), “So you’re saying I’m not entitled to my opinion?” “

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I believe he is entitled to his opinion, but I want to tell him that I don’t want to continue our friendship if he feels the need to voice his opinion in a way that makes me so sad and angry.

How can I do this when he is not ready to listen or change his choice of words?

– Lonely bachelor

Dear loner: You have already addressed this person and they have answered you loud and clear that their opinion is more important to them than the respect of your expressed wishes.

I don’t know why you end up discussing gender so often, but you don’t seem to have provided him with a term that you would prefer him to use. “Confusion” does not describe your child in transition, but “non-compliant” could.

However, it seems likely that you don’t have the power to make him change his opinion or the language he uses to express it.

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Threatening to end the friendship over it will likely result in another round of opinions.

It’s possible that this friendship has run its course, and if it does, there’s no need to issue a warning.

Dear Amy: The letter signed “Just Like Mom” ​​was from a woman whose perfectionism seemed to rule her life.

It was the story of my life, until my therapist offered me medication. It eased the extremes, allowing me to cope with normal. It changed my life.

– is no longer perfect

Expensive either: “Just Like Mom” is currently seeing a therapist; I hope his advisor is as knowledgeable as yours.

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