My friends had brought me home from the registry office and stayed with me night and day, taking turns bringing me tea and handkerchiefs while I cried instead as my loyal dog refused to leave me.
As I lay in bed the night after a sleepless night, I racked my brains thinking how a man who had had my name tattooed on his heart just a day earlier could leave me stranded at the altar, ending our relationship by text….
I felt more upset than I thought possible. When the heart breaks it shatters into 1000 pieces and I felt like mine would never mend.
Finally, after a week of unanswered texting and silence, he called.
Unable to get the words out of my mouth, I just held the phone to my ear. It seems he felt the same because he was so silent.
After what seemed like hours to me but was probably only seconds, I spoke, “Whatever you say, I deserve to hear it face to face, so go to this house now. With that, I hung up the phone.
I asked the girls to leave, I didn’t tell them why. I wanted to see him.
I knew they wouldn’t approve but I just needed to know. An hour later the doorbell rang. Part of me was happy and part of me was sad that he hadn’t used his key.
The dog was right to growl as there was an enemy of the heart at the door. I opened it to see it sheepishly but still horribly handsome.
As our eyes met on what was once the threshold of our house, I stepped back, as his Creed aftershave hovered in front of me. I wondered if he was wearing it for someone else. I was about to find out.
In the living room, at separate ends of the sofa, he turned to me and said
” I still love you. I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth, suddenly I was screaming. “How can you say that and how can you do that?” “
Tears were streaming from my eyes, mascara everywhere. “I was afraid,” he said softly, “forgive me. ” ” Why? I said, still wiping away my tears. “For humiliating me, for leaving me standing in front of the altar in front of our friends?” For leaving him unanswered for a week? ” I screamed.
” All. I just couldn’t get in.
I watched him in absolute shock. “Were you outside? “
“I was just scared,” he said, looking down. Then he started to cry. I looked at him, not knowing what to do. Through stifled sobs, he continued, “I cannot love you like you need to be loved. “
” What does it mean ? ” I said.
“I think we got together too soon after my divorce, I never really had any free time. “
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I spent 5 years looking after your children, we lived together in a house, planned a wedding and NOW you need some time off. “
Silence filled the room once more as the pain that had filled me last week was replaced by anger rising in my body like a kettle about to blow.
“Just get out” I say. He looked at me with eyes that I once believed were the ones I would look at for the rest of my life, but I was staring at a stranger.
“Let me explain Mel, I love you that’s just…” I stood up, cutting him off in the middle of the sentence,
“There’s nothing you can explain, no real man would do that to a woman he loved.” So get out of my house, ”and with that the dog followed me out of the room, up the stairs and into my room.
A few minutes later, I heard the door close and the future that I had planned everything seemed to close with it …
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