The cold opening featured SNL cast members Beck Bennett as Blitzer, Kate McKinnon as Fauci, and Heidi Gardner as Birx.
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“The main story today is the Pfizer coronavirus vaccine that the FDA just approved for emergency use. It’s like the PS5 – everyone wants it, no one can get it and if you’re rich you already had it a month ago, ”opened Bennett’s Blitzer, who then introduced Fauci and Birx. to talk about the “good news”.
“Yes, the vaccine is approved, and I officially join the Biden administration in continuing the fight against COVID,” Fauci said.
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“And I think I will join too,” Birx added. “Remember when Trump said inject bleach and I made a little ‘smelly’ face and almost whispered ‘no’.
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Fauci said they were going to make this vaccine “WWII style” by bringing England in first to see “what’s what” before rushing in at the end to steal the show.
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Fauci and Birx then explained how they would roll out the vaccine in the United States, with injections aimed first at healthcare workers and then at anyone named “Mildred, Forest, Blanche, Mabel or Walter” or “super seniors.” As Fauci describes.
Blitzer then asks them what they think of the overall federal vaccination plan, to which Fauci replies that “this president did as good a job with this deployment as I did in throwing that first pitch in the national game.”
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Another question from Blitzer was about how they plan to keep the doses cold, to which Birx replied that “luckily the vaccine comes in boxes activated by the cold Coors Light, so if the mountains are blue, you know the vaccine is working. ”
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