Melania trump is a woman of few words: she be best in brevity. Now that the first lady is about to leave the White House, it looks like she may have found her voice. Rumor has it that Melania is considering writing a memoir about her time in public service. “She hasn’t finished, or is going as quietly as you might expect,” a mysterious source recently told the New York Post.
Well, of course she isn’t. Melania may not have the gift of smudging, but she knows how to seize all the opportunities for personal growth that come their way. When Donald Trump took office, many liberals seemed to want to see Melania as a victim. #FreeMelania memes have been circulating; theories that she had made a runner and been replaced by a double body abounded.
But Melania, it became painfully clear, is not a shrinking violet. She is not a victim. She’s just as accomplice as her husband, not to say petty: according to Melania’s former friend, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, the first lady has spent much of the past four years devising roundabout ways to undermine Ivanka. At the inauguration, for example, Melania reportedly launched “Operation Block Ivanka” and arranged the seating to ensure that you couldn’t see the first girl on TV during the President’s swearing-in. Princess Ivanka was blocked by the head of Queen Melania.
Extreme pettiness is not a good trait in a human being. However, it can make for great content in a dissertation. I have high hopes that Melania will fully embrace her dark side after she leaves the White House and takes down the Trump family in a revealing scandal. If she doesn’t smear the family, her memories are likely to be extremely anemic: her time as first lady hasn’t been really action-packed, after all. Chapter One: It was the best of times and the worst of times; I started an anti-bullying initiative despite my marriage to the world’s biggest bully. Chapter Two: Stormy Daniels compared my husband’s genitals to the “Mushroom character from Mario Kart”. Chapter three: I went on safari in Kenya with a strange colonial hat. Chapter Four: I was fuming about migrant children and Christmas. Chapter Five: I Unearthed the Rose Garden. Chapter Six: I contracted coronavirus.
As Melania prepares for the next chapter in her life, it looks like she has already started to throw her closest and dearest to the wolves in an attempt to cleanse her image. On Monday, the New York Post ran a goofy story about the first lady, saying that Stephanie Grisham, her chief of staff and press secretary, had done her a huge disservice. We imagine that the insiders cited in the article are friends of the first lady who were responsible for launching Operation Rebrand Melania.
There was a lot of joy that Melania was writing a memoir, but I have the horrible feeling that she will have the last laugh. She might not produce anything like Michelle Obama’s Becoming memoir, but she will quickly make money and get even richer. Her husband may have to be dragged out of the West Wing kicking and screaming, but Melania is going to strut around smiling and plotting.