As a girl, I dreamed that my father would accompany me down the aisle. Now I would like my uncle to step in and fill this role.
He has a daughter who is older than me. She has been married for many years. Out of respect, I’d like to ask her if she’s okay with me asking her dad. I’m sure she won’t mind, but I think asking her is the right thing to do.
I don’t know how to go about it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
MAINE WEDDINGDEAR WEDDING: Congratulations on your next wedding. What you are considering is not unusual and frankly it is a great compliment to your uncle.
I think your idea of running it by your cousin is as delicate as it is prudent. The discussion would be more loving and productive if you led it in person or over the phone rather than text or email. I see no reason why she should not be happy for you and her father.
CHER ABBY: I am a 46 year old woman about to get married for the second time. My fiance lives with me and my two children from my previous marriage.
Other than making breakfast and quick snacks, it doesn’t help with the household. My problem is I pay all the bills and he complains about the temperature inside my house.
My kids and I need it cooler. If it’s too hot, we sweat and get congested, which we hate, and it makes us irritable. I tell him to put on more clothes if he’s cold, but he complains to the point that I turn off the fans and the air.
My question is: am I not allowed to be comfortable in the house I am paying for? He doesn’t pay, so he should adapt to our climate. Right?
HOT AND RUSTY IN VIRGINIA
CHER HOT & FRUSTRATED: The answers to your questions are yes and yes. And your fiancé – not you – should invest in a portable heater, which may solve his problem.
PS are you absolutely Are you sure you want to get married with this award? Nowhere in your letter did you say that you love this person. Not once have you mentioned his endearing qualities. Frankly, from your description, he looks like a third child.
CHER ABBY: I have a job that I love. My coworkers are nice, but once I knock at the end of the day I want to forget about them.
I think that’s the way it should be, but some of them are trying to set up after work dates to go out. Or they insist on becoming my friend on social media. I don’t consider them to be social friends and I don’t think they need to know the details of my private life.
Is there a good way to tell these people to take a step back because we’re only working together?
NEW TO FIVE IN NEW YORK
Dear nine to five: When invited out after work, explain that you have things to do or past commitments. And when it comes to sharing your personal information with them online, all you have to say is that you prefer to keep your work and personal life separate.Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.