“My life is completely different from the one I lived with Landon, and I will miss this life because I loved my life with him, although it was not always perfect,” Camryn said. “But I’m just learning to love my new life because I still have one life and my daughters still have a whole life to live.”
RELATED: YouTube Star Landon Clifford Passes Away at 19, Camryn Clifford Opens Up About His Death in Heartbreaking Video
Landon, 19, committed suicide in August after suffering from depression and anxiety. After her funeral, Camryn and her daughters moved in with her sister.
“Obviously this has been the most difficult time and trying to cope with the loss of the love of my life taking care of two children – there are days when it is sometimes so hard to get up. », She continued. “But Delilah needs to eat. And Collette asks me to make her pancakes and someone has to do it. And at times like that, I’m really thankful for my sister.
Holding back tears, the teenage mom added, “It really makes me appreciate all that Landon has done for us. He was so helpful, he loved being the father of everything. Like he really enjoys being a dad. He was so good at it.
Collette and Delilah are still too young to explain where their father has gone but Camryn said it would be a conversation she would someday have. “Someday it’s a conversation I’m going to have with her but right now she just doesn’t understand. For the most part, she doesn’t really ask about him until there is something that reminds her.
RELATED: The Bella Twins & Katherine Schwarzenegger Have a Candid Conversation About Postpartum Depression
Collette also has a Build-a-Bear which features Landon’s voice saying “I love you, Collette”.
“You can certainly tell she’s going through a rough patch, though. She was very independent and since he left she’s very clingy to me and very anxious and she almost thinks I’m going to leave her too, ”Camryn explained.
As for her, therapy has helped and she wants her viewers to know that she can help them too. “You can do it and it’s not for nothing – it’s growth.”
If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, there are resources available. In case of emergency, please call 911 for immediate assistance.
The Canadian Association for Suicide, Depression and Depression Prevention and Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 all offer ways to get help if you or someone you know has mental health problems.