From the outside, life was good for Rhian Williams, a mother of two, who had a full time job and a busy social life.
But Rhian, 36, from Swansea was a secret alcoholic and her problem was straining her marriage.
In March of this year, she admitted that she had a problem: “When my front door closed and wine time came at 5 pm, I couldn’t stop. ”
She said her drinking problem stemmed from her stint in college and a backlash against her strict upbringing: “I was brought up in a Christian family, so you didn’t get drunk. ”
Rhian admitted that his alcohol use had worsened considerably over the past six to seven years, but pointed out that it was such a gradual decline that it was barely noticeable.
“Because I was able to go one night without having a drink, I thought ‘I can’t have a problem’,” she explained.
“You do things to show yourself that you don’t have a problem, like a dry January or a dry July. You do it for a month and then it’s so easy to fall back into it.
Rhian describes doing benders, coming home and arguing with her husband Chris, which would result in her taking two weeks off – but there was never a real ending.
For about three years, the arguments with her husband had escalated, and in March of this year, things got worse and he asked her to leave.
She said, “I had hidden a bottle of wine that I had already drunk because I was embarrassed and he found the bottle. I suddenly realized that I was going to lose everything. “
You do things to show yourself that you don’t have a problem, like a dry January or a dry July. You do it for a month and then it’s so easy to fall back into it.
Now sober, Rhian describes how much better the relationship between her and her husband is, and says their date nights were all about getting fucked rather than spending time together.
She said her two children were too young to understand but they were going to joke that “mom’s favorite drink is wine”.
Speaking of her trip, Rhian mentioned the quote from Brene Brown, “Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to?” And said that made her burst into tears as she would never want her children to drink like she did.
“You hide it and people think when you go out at night and get run over you just do it that night – they don’t realize that every other night of the week you drink a bottle of wine.
After quitting drinking, Rhian was exercising at 6:30 am and was feeling great.
She commented on wine culture, memes and the fact that so many “comedic” birthday cards revolve around alcohol normalizes alcohol consumption.
“It’s a joke that it’s mom’s medicine and that’s what you need to de-stress children. “
“I suddenly realized that I was going to lose everything. “
Today, Rhian has a sober coaching business and says everyone has the same story, where weekend drinking gets out of hand and gradually becomes a daily habit.
In eight months of abstinence, Rhian saved around £ 700.
She describes stages such as resistance to free prosecco at a party.
Speaking of the past few months, Rhian said it had been difficult but the lockdown took the pressure off to come out.
“Before, I didn’t understand people who could drink a glass of wine and leave half a bottle in the fridge. ”
“One of the coaching packages I do is 60 days of abstinence. I’ve found that when you give up for a month, you don’t feel the benefits.
She says during your first month without alcohol you feel bad because your body is adjusting to not having alcohol in your body, but after two months you start to feel the full benefits.
NHS guidelines on alcohol consumption
According to the NHS, regularly drinking more than 14 units of alcohol per week can be harmful to your health.
To reduce the health risks of alcohol to a low level if you drink most weeks:
- men and women are advised not to drink more than 14 units per week on a regular basis
- spread your alcohol intake over 3 or more days if you regularly drink up to 14 units per week
- if you want to cut back, try to have several days without a drink each week
If you are pregnant or think you might be, the safest approach is to not drink alcohol at all to minimize the risk to your baby.
You read more on the NHS website.
“There will be a lot of people who will suffer in silence. I want to share the tools I have developed with people to enable them to live their lives on their own terms.
“Since the pandemic, it has been widely reported that people are drinking more alcohol than before. I believe that I can help women for whom alcohol consumption has become a concern.
“You don’t have to hit rock bottom to have a problem. ”
If you need help, you can contact Alcoholics Anonymous, www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk and 0800 917 7650.
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