During months, South Park fans wondered how the Comedy Central staple would approach the current state of the world. After Wednesday’s special pandemic, they finally have their answer – and it’s horrible.
Understandably, everyone in South Park takes a slightly different approach to the pandemic. Randy sees this as a business opportunity, proudly calling a Town Square summit to announce that Tegridy Farms is hosting a “Special Pandemic,” a 10% off extravaganza. “People are dying, Randy, and all you can think of is make a special?” asks the voice of reason Sharon. But Randy remains confident in his latest venture, and it doesn’t take long to rub his success in the face of his family.
That is, until a report confirms that scientists have identified the origin of the coronavirus to a specific bat in a “seedy part” of Wuhan. The news stops Randy dead in his tracks, as he suddenly remembers having unprotected sex with a bat on his trip to Wuhan. It was during one of his All Night Benders with Mickey Mouse, which reminded Randy that a bat is actually just a mouse with wings.
It’s a serious wake-up call for Randy, who previously called COVID-19 a “dirty virus from China” and downplayed his brother-in-law’s diagnosis because “Jimbo is a fat alcoholic who would be out there anyway. ‘hospital. Randy is desperate to hide the truth from his wife because, as he points out, “If she finds out that I started the pandemic, she’s going to be a real bitch about it.
Randy is briefly relieved when follow-up tests reveal that the bat is do not connected to the pandemic, but a whole new panic sets in when he learns of the real responsible creature. He’s actually a pangolin, and you guessed it – Randy suddenly remembers that he and Mickey had sex with one of them too.
He immediately tries to cover his tracks, infiltrating the containment laboratory while posing as a “pandemic specialist”. (By his logic, he’s not lying!) After freeing his lover, Randy thinks he’s in the clear, until Mickey threatens to expose him to the world. Thinking quickly, Randy buys himself time testing a new theory: if he can get his DNA from COVID-19 patients, he could vaccinate them without anyone learning the truth. This is exactly what he does by dropping his specimen (ugh) into a Tegridy joint and delivering it to Jimbo. And you don’t know, it works!
So Randy gets to work, filling his massive weed stash with his own personal seed. (The grossest rhyme ever.) But if this “special” strain of weed briefly kills the symptoms of COVID-19, it has an unexpected side effect: a Randy mustache! Soon every cigarette smoker in town cradled his signature, forcing Dr. Anthony Fauci to encourage all Americans to start wearing their “face diapers” over their mouths “where the mustache would be.” (Ironically, this is what gets everyone to start wearing their mask properly.)
Meanwhile, the children of South Park must readjust to classroom life. They’re all a little hesitant, but no one is more opposed to the return of in-person learning than Cartman, who opens the special with a full-fledged musical number about the rampant pleasures of social distancing. The big troublemaker, who angrily concludes that “Cartman’s life doesn’t matter”, is determined to get it right very uncomfortable for his classmates.
Then again, things at South Park Elementary School are already a mess, with most of the teachers being replaced by police officers. As Detective Harris explains, the force has been suspended “due to events beyond our control” and wishes to re-establish itself as the leader of the community. Cartman takes advantage of the police presence, initiating a fight that leads to Token being shot. After calling the shooting a “COVID-related” injury, cops are forcing the entire school to close.
The boys make a desperate appeal to President Garrison, who only takes their call because they mistakenly introduce themselves as Mr. Slavic. (Aww!) They beg him to go back to South Park and stop the pandemic, to which he asks, “Why would I do this? I promised the American people to get rid of all Mexicans. When the boys remind POTUS it’s not only killing Mexicans, he replies, “Well, that kills a lot. I was doing a shitty job until this pandemic happened. I’m actively going to do nothing, and you can eat my balls and die.
Stans’ attention then turns to an oppressed Butters; In an attempt to get his spirits alive, the boys meet him at Build-a-Bear and help him out of quarantine. At this point, the townspeople were plunged into a looting frenzy (doesn’t take much, does it?) Until they were at each other’s throats on the streets. . Police claim they can’t get involved because she was defounded, so the mayor signs a decree to refinance them. Again, it only takes a few minutes for them to start shooting innocent children.
Just when the madness reaches its peak, Randy decides to show himself clean, bringing out the pangolin for everyone to see. But Cartman moves surprisingly fast, grabbing the creature and swinging it over the Build-a-Bear machine. (As if that hadn’t done enough already!) One of Stan’s classic speeches inspires a change of mind within Cartman, so he hands the pangolin over to scientists, making sure a vaccine can be made.
Sadly, the pangolin – and the scientist holding it – is then burned alive by President Garrison, who appears in the frame to remind everyone, “Don’t forget to come out and vote, everyone!” Great election coming up! Yikes.
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