After #famehungryw *** egate last week, everyone is talking about what happened at the pool party.
Liv asks Tristan, Emily and Tiff if they liked it. Tristan and Emily didn’t, unfortunately. Tiff did, she said, slipping into her plant-based sausage, dangerously close to splashing vegan ketchup on her white Victorian housekeeper blouse.
Tristan didn’t like it because he had an awkward conversation with Verity, and said it was like “talking to a ghost”. It is not known at this point how the ghosts speak. Usually via television frequencies from people or people like Tyler Henry, Hollywood Medium.
Made In Chelsea: Zara confronts Melissa about the Voice Note incident… as Tristan, Charlie and Holmes walk up to Verity
It’s unclear why Emily didn’t enjoy the pool party, but everyone in their place.
The Locke-Locke marriage saga is booming and things are still a bit tense when it comes to the Big One vs Small One debate.
The bride and groom discuss it over foaming foods with Sophie and Fred. Ollie is absolutely sick to the back teeth of the global health crisis.
“I want my wedding the way I want it without some kind of fucking pandemic to ruin the flamboyance!” He declares, before going to bed with a pot of fragrant salts and a compress of lavender.
Trapped: Zara invited Melissa and Habbs in for a hot shock. Without knowing she’s about to be tricked, Melissa is absolutely gagged to hear about the pool party drama
Amelia and Freddie – whose mustache, at this point, is inexcusable – pick apples and laugh at Tristan.
Amelia really can’t stand the boy. She never liked him and it’s unclear why, despite being a bit irritating, he’s a polite young man.
Then she comes up with a really catchy new mantra: “The best way to get over someone is to be in contact with men!” There’s a bumper sticker waiting!
Curious Mind: After #famehungryw *** egate last week, everyone is talking about what happened at the pool party. Liv asks Tristan, Emily and Tiff if they liked it
Zara invited Melissa and Habbs over for a hot shock. Unbeknownst to her about to be tricked, Melissa is absolutely gagged to hear about the drama of the pool party.
Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t realize that she called Zara a celebrity-hungry woman, and that this was broadcast through the campaign on an old WWII tannoy blitz.
[Actually it was on Tiff’s phone but whatever!]
Ollie came to see Liv and complain some more about the pandemic. He is sickened by the thought of thirty or so guests at his wedding, but he is in awe of the appearance of Liv’s breasts.
“You could end up on the front of Angling Times! he remarks, as he throws his rod into the pond to catch a pretty sprat.
Charlie and Holmes bit each other without their shirts on, to remind us all that they really love fitness and wellness.
Paris skips practice to chat with Freddie over some soft cheeses. She’s clearly fed up with the house she was thrown into because all she can talk about is how nice it is to have new people and she has a happy eye for Tristan. .
Tristan, meanwhile, mocks the other house, wondering where everyone has ended up. He finds Harvey in his room, who tells him that he thinks it’s time he said the L word to Emily.
‘The word I? Do you?’ Tristan asks. “Yes,” confirms Harvey. ‘You like it?’ Tristan checks, double-ensuring that “L” stands for “Love” and not, for example, “Latitudinarian”.
Forgot something? Charlie and Holmes bit each other without their shirts on, to remind us all that they really love fitness and wellness.
After the PT session, Holmes and Charlie stand shirtless next to each other, each adorned with multiple silver chains, which hang around their necks like gruesome, gruesome Christmas ornaments.
There are a lot of innuendo that fly with Amelia and Verity. Lots of “turns” and “lowering down” and “getting nailed” and “ass to the grass”.
Verity is all “let’s bring in the beers” and announces that she will “be leading the entertainment,” suggesting that she will come out later waving silk scarves while dancing.
The boys then spend the night with Amelia and Verity. Tristan is furious the next day, seeing as he was in bed at 8 with a Horlicks and a copy of Good Housekeeping.
Fuming: The boys then spend the night with Amelia and Verity. Tristan is furious the next day as he was in bed at 8 with a Horlicks and a copy of Good Housekeeping
Back in London, Gareth once again tries to push the little marriage problem and takes Ollie to recreate their first date.
The boys remember how they spent the whole weekend together, with the crackling fire, the snow outside, and the dog with uncontrollable diarrhea.
This fixes the problem: they will get married before the end of 2020. Pandemic be damned!
When Charlie and Holmes get home, Tristan has a word with Charlie and says in no uncertain terms: “Don’t fuck my ex!
But alas, it is revealed that Verity did in fact kiss Holmes. Holmes hints that the girls didn’t pay attention to him until he “lost weight and had his hair cut,” but now he’s ended up laughing at his inability to say anything interesting.
It’s Verity and Amelia’s turn to throw the next party, and Verity has a little flirtation with Charlie. Everything is on the subject of sport with him. Lots of “I’ll be quick out of goal” and “I’ll just roll with the punches”. At least he’s actually talking this week, so there you go.
Things get nasty when six of them find themselves sitting around a table in the garden as if they are about to communicate with Satan himself, and Tristan learns of the kiss from Verity and Holmes.
Everyone teams up against Tristan. It would be a good time for Paris to stand up for him and defend him, but she doesn’t really speak either.
As they scream and scream in the background, Harvey takes Emily around the corner to tell her he loves her with 60 Chicken Nuggets under a bell.
Made In Chelsea continues on Mondays at 9pm on E4.
Did you give the cat your tongue? Everyone teams up against Tristan. It would be a good time for Paris to stand up for him and defend him, but she’s not really speaking either.