I started a hobby three years ago that generates about $ 5,000 in annual income, which I set aside in a separate bank account. My wife asked, “Why are you saving this money?” I said maybe a classic car, help out a family reunion (on my side) etc. She replied, “We have to be on the same page about how it is spent because half is mine.”
When I contacted my son for his insight, he sided with her because (legally) half of what I got is hers. I have no problem consulting her on a major expense from our other economies, but on this one I feel she is controlling and petty. Your thoughts?
LEISURE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HOBBY: I agree with you. Not only that, but she also lacks tact.
CHER ABBY: My daughter has just informed me that she will be hanging a deer head in their living room. Her living boyfriend loves to hunt and she does it for him. Just thinking about it makes me physically sick. My thoughts turn to a dying animal in pain.
My husband and I gave my daughter $ 12,000 to buy this house. I want her to rethink her decision based on the fact that it bothers me, not that I’m trying to push her around because we gave her this money. I know she will take it personally and be mad at me. Help me!
UNEASIA TO OREGON
DEAR ASIA: I think we both know that your daughter is an adult and that she has a right to make this decision without worrying that her boyfriend’s hobby is bothering you. We don’t have to like it or approve of it. Because what bothers you is the idea that the deer suffered, ask your daughter (or him) how many hits it took to bring the creature down. If there were more than one, you might be happier to have them in your home.
CHER ABBY: My wife left me a little over two years ago and I can’t get over it. All she said was we had an ’emotional disconnect’. I don’t think she was unfaithful.
All I can think of is being with her, and I cringe if I think she’s with someone else. I am a professional with a good career and a good retirement, and I have been approached by beautiful women who would like to date me. How can I get over my feelings for my ex?
ALONE IN THE PLAINS
Dear loner: Have you been going out and participating in leisure activities since your wife left? That would be one way of making you forget it because sitting around thinking about her is counterproductive.
Your ex should have been more specific about why she left. Understanding would have helped you truly heal.
Because it has been two years and you have not been able to resolve this issue, please speak with a licensed psychotherapist.
Your doctor or health insurance can give you the names of qualified professionals. Don’t wait to ask.Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.