Marc Marquez cannot be human


Illustration from the article entitled Marc Marquez Cannot Be Human

Photo: Marc Marquez

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Shown here is the alien species Marc Marquez undergoing a MotoGP medical exam in Jerez, Spain to determine if the Honda rider and six-time world champion has sufficient range of motion to ride his racing bike this weekend. The double thumbs up is a uniquely human non-verbal communication device for presenting good news. The good news is, in fact, that Marquez passed his exam and will compete in the Andalusian Grand Prix as usual. It just comes four days after an accident broke his right arm, with subsequent plate and bolt surgery only TWO DAYS ago!

Illustration from the article entitled Marc Marquez Cannot Be Human

Screenshot: MotoGP

Four laps to the end of last Sunday’s Spanish Grand Prix, he who claims to be a 27-year-old from Cervera, Spain was thrown from his motorcycle in a high crash. As he fell to stop in the gravel pit on the outside of turn 4 left, Marquez was clearly holding his right hand up in pain. A series of x-rays revealed that his right humerus was fractured in half, a shaft fracture. Importantly, however, there was no damage to the radial nerve.

Earlier in the race, Marquez recovered from a similar high side with a gravel trap crossing, falling nicely in order. Before the incident in which he was injured, the absolute monster on two wheels was back on the podium, fighting Yamaha rider Maverick Vinales for second place. A real and real beast, he is. It is clear that this level of competitiveness, rapid healing, and strength of conviction are not human characteristics. If he is not from another planet, he must at least be a student of Charles Xavier’s school for gifted young people.

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Legendary MotoGP surgeon Dr Xavier Mir got to work as soon as the patient arrived. Initial reports declared the defending champion unfit to compete for the remainder of the 2020 season. Once the operation was completed, Marquez himself stunned the press by announcing that he would be back for the Czech Republic Grand Prix. early August. All of the medics involved have said he will not participate this weekend, and Honda has agreed. After passing today’s fitness test, Marquez beat his own goal and will be riding his bike again in Jerez.

What is this mess? If I sleep on a poor density pillow, I cannot walk properly for a week. Does that crazy bastard have the nerve to take a hit on the human race like that? Let’s go!

According to MotoGP medical director Dr. Angel Charter, the medical review unit tested all movements that involved this type of injury and it turned out he was able to do them perfectly. “There was no sign of pain or mechanical incapacity in his right arm, and therefore the exhaustive medical examination, although it seems strange to us, was positive. This proves that the pilot is perfectly ready for the race. At what percentage it cannot be said, but he follows the rigorous medical protocol for this type of injury.

Absolutely mind-boggling. Obviously, Marc Marquez is not like you or me. Grab it and tear it apart, little alien. Forza Marquez!


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