Sometimes, Just Sometimes Fest is a multimedia fortnight built around one of my favorite movies, The Crow. The specter of tragedy hangs over this film because of what happened [star Brandon Lee was killed in an accident on set] but it’s still a pretty spectacular landmark in cinema – sleek, tough, moving, deeply serious in the best way – and the best superhero movie.
Detroit, Michigan, where the movie is set. Either that or we’ll get it in Dark City, which was the movie director Alex Proyas made next. It’s the only movie more Crow-y than The Crow.
Photographie: Phil Mccarten / Invision / AP
The Raven will be shown on a loop, but in case you miss one of the dozens of screenings per day, you can watch it on your computer. But not on your phone. There will also be the films that influenced The Crow: Metropolis, Blade Runner, Ghost in the Shell, Batman, Batman Returns, Edward Scissorhands. And those who have been influenced by it: the Underworld films, the Christian Bale film Equilibrium and the entire Matrix franchise. I love Keanu, I really love, and I’m proud of a Canadian who’s done as well as him, but I’m also, like, “Damn, if Brandon Lee is around when The Matrix is done, it’s probably the guy who does. He would have been a great Neo.
The soundtrack is a work of art so you would have all the bands. My life with the Kill Kult thrill would make headlines one night. The Cure would be there. Nine Inch Nails does an entire night of Joy Division covers. And you would like Joy Division to do covers of Nine Inch Nails. That night the concert is on a rooftop and the audience starts at a dozen rooftops and you spend the entire concert running from that rooftop through the other rooftops to – and away from – the bands, just like the stage of The Crow where Joy Division’s Dead Souls Nine Inch Nails cover kicks off and Brandon Lee runs across the rooftops. Don’t worry about health and safety. Gravity has been conquered, with Covid-19. Perhaps the eradication of one informed the defeat of the other. We have finally found a cure for gravity, humanity’s greatest enemy.
The Crow is all about bringing a guy back from the dead, so it’s only fitting to bring Edgar Allan Poe back. Come have a bite to eat with Poe and listen to him read The Raven! We’re also bringing back HP Lovecraft, but we’re keeping a very close eye on this racist nerd. Lovecraft can answer for his fanaticism. We’ll hold his feet to the fire, force him to listen to his counterparts today, say, “It’s you, Lovecraft!” We also had the whole Swiss house that the Shelleys and Lord Byrons hung out in when Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein in the Year Without Summer. But we don’t really to have the year without summer. We draw the line to time travel.
Questions and answers can be embarrassing. The questions are always accidentally contradictory or politely contradictory. Brandon Lee and Ian Curtis are there but you can’t ask them questions, you can only give them love. I’m here too, lining up to sign some shit.
All the food is black and white: olives, pinto beans, rice, chocolate chip ice cream. Oreos are the culinary linchpin. At some point you hit the ceiling of foods that are organically black and white, so we dye burgers and hot dogs and put extra flour in buns. There is also the yulelog. And grapes that look like eyeballs.
There is a Scandinavian death metal makeup tent. At Sometimes we want you to find the most authentic Gothic version of yourself.
Random Acts of Violence, directed by and with Jay Baruchel, releases in Canada on July 31 and airs in the UK on Shudder from August 20