Welcome to Sea City, sitters! It’s Spring Break (this fictional year is going by and I don’t hate it) and Stacey and Mary Anne have been tasked with the very first BSC travel job: they’ll be going to the beach for the week to watch the Eight Pike Kids. Yes, my friends, it’s “Pike” like in Mallory Pike. I imagine that many viewers already know who Mallory is in the big lore of Le Club Baby-Sitters, but just in case I would just say that the eldest pike will be back at a later date.
Stacey and Mary Anne are delighted to be paid to go on vacation (Richard Spier is a brothel, of course), but the other girls are already missing from their friends. Sure, it’s only a week, but these girls are best friends forever. Capital letters mean it’s serious. You didn’t want to sneak into this group embrace? The two babysitters who leave have lots of plans for a fun but responsible week. Kristy is already everywhere on maintaining the BSC code of conduct even in a different postal code. Things seem to start as well as Stacey and Mary Anne had expected, apart from multiple incidents of vomiting in the car ride and less than ideal weather conditions, but all of these plans are launched in the cold, harsh sea by the time Scott the rescuer reveal.
Who is Scott the rescuer, you ask? A 17 year old model who slips into Stacey’s heart even if he barely notices his crazy amount of flirting, condescendingly calls him “cutie”, gives him his trash – excuse me, his lifeguard whistle – and I also assume responsible for the life of the people on this beach. Anyway, this may be the Stacey episode, but let’s be honest: Mary Anne is the real hero here. She immediately recognizes that Stacey is a bit ridiculous, (1) because of the inappropriate age difference, and (2) because uh, these ladies have a job to do and Stacey is puffing to bring drinks Scott and… poses endearingly in his general neighborhood while he ignores it?
Mary Anne isn’t thrilled to have to watch the Eight Pikes for herself. She is especially not delighted when they bury her in the sand and leave her for the seagulls. Fortunately, two very good boys of appropriate age, Alex and cousin Toby from Canada, help him. They succeeded because these boys are charming and I very much approve of the preadolescents who already tell jokes to dad. When Stacey learns that Scott is going to Burger Garden where he will “slap burgers” – a phrase that will please me for years to come – she turns their night off to “bump into him” there. Mary Anne brings Alex and cousin Toby and Stacey continues to ignore them all, even if Toby is clearly in her. She decides that she will win Scott with a box of chocolates, proving once and for all that she should in no case prosecute a 17 year old. Stay with Sam, Stace! Sam is not complicated! Sam draws mixers!
She completely humbles herself in front of Scott and his high school classmates. Toby tries to save the day, but the damage is done. Back at Pike’s beach house, Stacey learns that little Byron Pike has a huge crush on her and she has to explain that he is just too young and that this puts the situation in perspective. Fortunately, she came to this achievement with enough time for a great day at the beach. She “didn’t care if a boy knew who [she] was, because [she] knew. Ah my God, these girls are growing up before our eyes!
It also means that she can apologize to Mary Anne for being a terrible friend, even if she bought them airbrush shirts matching the cheese, and that is not nothing. In addition, Mary Anne has her own silver lining: She was so intimidated by the way she thought Stacey was cool and sophisticated and now she has learned that she is just a big jerk like the others. Honestly, this is a lesson to keep with you, no matter how old you are. Oh and also, Toby shows up to say goodbye to Stacey with her own gift and she kisses the child. Her very first kiss. Sea City is not that bad after all.
Back in Stoneybrook, Kristy also begins to see someone in a different way: she could finally come to Watson Brewer. She is responsible for guarding Karen and Andrew. She entices them to do chores, which includes, I suppose, washing Watson’s luxury car that he doesn’t really drive. Kristy somehow manages to shut herself up in a mud room, hoping to find dirt – ahem – on Watson and must watch in horror Karen and Andrew “wash” the car with steel wool.
Watson calls Kristy (he has to block her number for her to answer, Kristy is hilarious) to give her the chance to empty herself. She reverses everything and Watson is much more understanding than Kristy deserves. He tells her he has no secrets hidden in the mud rooms, he’s an ordinary guy. Besides, he doesn’t think they need to tell Liz about it. He’s a cool guy! Kristy starts to soften and quickly tells her that she really likes her new room in her house, then hangs up immediately before she can answer. He seems so happy about it. He’s making progress!
• Oh, Sharon and Richard are so again. Dawn and Mary Anne are tired of this break from their parents and are therefore starting their Parent trap plan (complete with full handshake – they’re real fans!). The “plan” is mainly Dawn who calls Richard and pretends to be his mom, but she is a terrible actress. Even if she hadn’t given it before inviting Richard for “wine on the rocks”, it really would have. Just the reminder of Sharon pushes Richard to offer an olive branch as a pet turtle (“turtle” was his pet name for him in high school) and a note that says “sorry to have returned to my shell”. Honestly, buying someone a pet is not a gift, it’s a job, but we will take it because Sharon and Richie are made for each other.
• Vanessa Pike, the one who is in a dark and curvy “poetry phase”, is another great addition to the Stoneybrook Quirky Kids. I love them all!
• There are a lot of embarrassing things you could say to the older boy you love, but “Holla at me” is at the top of this list.
• “Mary Anne, talk to her. Or else you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering if his legs look like Jell-O when he sees you. Alex !!!
• Okay, so we met Mal – where’s Jessi ??