Explain to me quickly: is Robert Pattinson dragging us with his horrible pasta dish? | Robert Pattinson

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Hi Alyx. Why is everyone telling me about Robert Pattinson’s chaotic pasta?

Robert Pattinson, the Twilight star turned artery-power, used his coverage profile with GQ as an opportunity to promote his dream business venture. A pasta dish with the same “fast food references as burgers and pizzas” as “you can hold in your hand”. He calls it Piccolini Cuscino, or “Little Pillow”.

He tried to demonstrate his prototype for Zach Baron, who interviewed him on FaceTime in isolation, and that involved cornflakes, burning a hamburger bun with a lighter, a large amount of sugar, and the explosion of a microwave in the London apartment, Batman producers are paying for it to live.

In other words – this is the perfect business opportunity for our time.

Sorry, cornflakes, a microwave and sugar? Is he dragging us?

In the words of Baron, who wrote a really excellent profile, “even now, I don’t totally know.” Still, there is a long, continuous heritage of pop culture to discuss Pattinson’s body odor (formerly bad; now, according to Pattinson himself, like colored pencils) Given that, he wouldn’t be wildly offbeat from to assume that his cooking habits are also a little… weird. At one point, he described a type of pasta as “like a drop, a kind of wavy drop … it looks like a kind of mess … like, the bun on a girl”. (Our working theory is that he talks about tortellini).

At another point, he worries, “I literally did this yesterday. And now it’s just impossible. It seems like I can’t cook at all. ”

Either way, you have to admire her commitment to the cause. He sets one of his latex gloves on fire while using a lighter to mark his creation with the initials “PC”. He lets “a flash” of electricity destroy his microwave while he cooks this dish. And he succeeds without worrying about his personal safety. (It’s unclear who will pay for the broken microwave.)

As for sugar, he says, “You really have to freeze everything in a huge amount of sugar and cheese” – which is also my approach to locked-out cooking, so quite fair.

A commitment to chaos is pretty much Pattinson’s MO, according to the directors he worked with. In the profile, Robert Eggers describes him as “Andy Kaufman-esque in real life. Rob is so much beyond drought that it’s like a meta. You say to yourself: “Is it funny? Like: “I have no idea what’s going on. »»

In the play, Pattinson also says he doesn’t remember the plot of Tenet, an upcoming movie in which he just starred directed by Christopher Nolan. So Baron calls Nolan to see if he’s played. The answer: “The nice thing about Rob is that he has a little sex with you. “

Is it possible that he, like everyone else, just goes crazy in ISO?

More than most people, Pattinson used to be isolated. He spent a large part of his life hiding from the paparazzi – once famous at Reese Witherspoon, a song I think of too often.

In the interview, he seems to be doing as well as any of us. Even though he’s supposed to be playing Batman, he barely trains (my hero) and he takes great liberties with his Batman diet: “I’ll have oatmeal with, like, vanilla protein powder on it. And I’m barely going to mix it up. It’s incredibly easy. Like, I eat with cans and all that. I’m going to literally put Tabasco in a can of tuna and I’m just going to eat it out of the can. ”

He also has another very close iso-habit: send obsessive emails to people. Only, it’s something he always did. “I recently sent an email to this guy who’s absolutely terrified of me … He finally forwarded my email to one of the actresses in his film to speak to me instead … I thought that it had been about two years and six months, between each email, but only a few weeks apart. “

Looks like it was made for solitary confinement?

This is the working theory behind the whole profile, yes. And if the incredible self-portraits that accompany it are something to go by – him, raw and unshaven, in thongs with socks of $ 155 tied around his calves – he has a second career as an indie mag photographer who also waits in behind the scenes.

But I hope that isolation will become a golden age for celebrity interviews in general. This is the kind of sprawling profile you read in the 70’s Rolling Stone or Playboy. Nowadays, interviews are generally much more step-by-step, but it’s impossible to control your talent for locking. At one point, the Pattinson publicist calls him and asks if she will have to clean up the mess after his interview, and he says, “I don’t even remember everything I said. “

This is also happening at the Guardian – Brigid Delaney ended up orchestrating a home exchange with Miriam Margoyles the other day. At the Washington Post, Geoff Edgers broadcasts hours live with famous people. Everyone goes off-piste a bit – and if that means more microwave pasta for us to consume, I’m here for that.



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